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I'm 40 Today!

Over the last forty days I have thoroughly enjoyed a little self indulgent reflection on my life. I have many more recollections from most of the years that I couldn't possibly have written about it all.

I've replayed my childhood and youth. I replayed first kiss, my first concert, my first car, my first "love." I spent a lot of time replaying my wedding day and the birth of my children.

I was surprised by how vivid and emotional my replaying the day I boarded the plane for America was for me.

I've had 40 great years and God willing look forward to many more. The one thing I've been reminded of throughout this period of reflection has been the importance of relationships in our lives. It's the people, not the place or the task, that makes life great!

To those of you who have read this, I thank you for being part of my life and helping make it great. I'm glad our paths have crossed.

Countown to 40 - 2007

I ran my first marathon in March and loved it. I was able to raise over $3,000 for World Vision and had a great support crew of Jenny and Michaela cheering me on at several points around the course. In the end I finished in 3:56:43 with Jenny screaming at me to hurry up so I could cross the finish in less than four hours, she'd forgotten that it took me about three minutes to cross the start line!

Summer of '07 saw us take our first trip to Belfast in six years. It was long overdue. How wonderful it was to catch up with family and a couple of old friends, actually Steve Stockman and Peter Little were the only two friends I got together with on this trip. It rained a lot but we enjoyed ourselves, great time on the North Antrim Coast. This really is God's country!

Labor Day weekend Jenny and I headed to VA Beach for the Rock'n'Roll half marathon. October brought the Army Ten Miler and this year we had a church team enter. November saw me tackle my second marathon in Richmond, 3:43:35, I'm getting faster!

April 20th I was fixed!

For both the spring and fall seasons I helped coach my kids soccer team. I really enjoyed this and hope I can coach again some time in the future. I think this was the first year that we started to see our lives begin to revolve around our children's activities! I understand it only gets busier from here on out!

I enjoyed 2007.

Coutndown to 40 - 2006

2006 was a stellar year. In January, after our December move into our new building, we launched Soul Cafe at church, this was going to be our alternative worship service. It was very casual, with coffee and treats served at the start of the service, I sat on a stool rather than standing behind a lectern, we shared stories of what God had been doing in our lives. I loved it. As an associate it also gave me the opportunity to lead worship and preach on a weekly basis, something I found very satisfying. I think my highlight was our summer series we titled "Rock 'n' Truth." Each week we watched a rock music video and the message of the song formed the basis for the talk that evening. Unfortunately available resources only allowed us to run this service for nine months before we had to put it on the back burners.

January of 2006 also saw me put on my running shoes for the first time in eleven years... I had to stop several times on the 1.7 mile loop around our neighborhood and I was convinced at the time that some of the hills were really steep! By April I was running a 5k and then in May decided to sign up for a half-marathon and then the Army Ten Miler. All of a sudden that little loop didn't seem so bad! By mid-October I had signed up to run the National Marathon the following March.

The first week of October I became part of a world record. At the Catalyst Conference I, along with our church staff, participated in the worlds largest pillow fight! Guinness officials were on hand to verify the attempt and apparently we succeeded.

There was enough balance in our lives again to fall gently into God's chosen future!

Countdown to 40 - 2005

This was a challenging year for us as we tried to make the adjustments to life in Northern Virginia. At one point we seriously considered packing up our bags and moving back to Minnesota. Why didn't we? A few good friends came alongside us and reminded us that God hadn't finished with us in Virginia and that we had a calling to fulfill. They were right. I cannot overemphasize the importance of trusted friends as you seek God's will for your life.

We took a family vacation to VA Beach and enjoyed time playing on the beach and jumping in the waves. A couple of months later child #3 would enter the world some 90 minutes after we pulled into the parking lot of the hospital. It's hard to believe that this was three years ago.

We also learned that our friends Nick and Jen Greener were living in Alexandria. Nick was working with the Luis Palau Festival team to host the DC event.

May of this year Nick and I climbed into the car and headed for Philadelphia for the day where we would tour the city and then make our way to the Wachovia Center to see U2 in concert. The evening was great, I will never get over the ability of Bono to get tens of thousands of people to sing the Psalms as they close out their shows with "40," their rendition of the 40th Psalm.

It was January of this year that I began my blog!

It was a challenging year at the time, in retrospect it was a  great year.

Countdown to 40 - 2004

This was a year of transition for me and the family. I felt it was time to move on from Randolph Heights and was looking for an opportunity to serve as an Associate Pastor in a larger congregation. I believed it would allow me to broaden my understanding and appreciation of what it means to be a pastor.

So I circulated my resume and received three calls at the same time, we did back to back weekend interviews and loved all three churches. One was local, big attraction and I knew the staff and was very comfortable with the culture, the other was on the East coast and had a wonderful Senior Pastor with a very clear vision and defined leadership style, it was clear that the church and the staff of 30+ had the utmost respect for him. Then there was the third, Centreville Presbyterian Church, where we ended up but only just.

I turned down the East coast option, accepted the local option (no denominational pun intended) and called Centreville to tell them the news. After a phone conversation it all changed again and I called Don to change the no to a maybe! This was Thursday. Friday and Saturday (July 4) Jenny and I prayed, I talked with Senior Pastors, I talked with PNC's we further defined job descriptions and we ended up in Centreville!

We moved out in September, the girls flew and I drove... the wrong way! Coming out of Chicago I took the wrong Interstate and as I knew there wouldn't be another turn for 300 miles I just kept on going. It wasn't until I saw the signs for the tunnel to Canada that I knew something was up and I was sure I was on the wrong road as I passed Detroit Internation Airport! My seventeen hour drive just became 21.

The fall was an exciting time as I began a new job and we settled into a new community. Our only miscalculation would be the cost of living. Especially as we hadn't figured in the cost of a third child who would grace our lives in September of 2005! Over the next nine months we would work our way through our entire savings as we struggled to figure out God's call on our lives. The church continued to affirm our call to ministry with them and we were able to secure an equity share agreement with the congregation. A very common arrangement in the DC area.

2004 saw man new people come into our lives, to name them all would be impossible but the Centrevile Pastor Nominating Committee will always hold a special place in our lives.

Coutndown to 40 - 2003

This year we moved from Bloomington to St. Paul. It would prove to be a brief move as we would move again just 14 months later.

This summer we held a concert "series" at Randolph Heights that featured Mark and Lisa Flora and one of my other favorite local acts (and a good friend) Amy Fabry. By the way you really buy a copy of her CD "Cultivate Pearl." This series was a great success and brought some folks through the doors of the church who had never been, or hadn't been in years, in a church building. I'd love to do something like this again. Still waiting for Amy's next CD.

After the move to St Paul I started training with the St. Paul Pigs rugby team. I had thoughts about trying to play again but quickly decided that my playing days were over, I just didn't have the drive and motivation to get back into match shape and hit and get hit that hard again. The highlight of my time training with the PIgs was reconnecting with Mike Lundberg who would unfortunately lose his life to cancer a few years later.

Countdown to 40 - 2002

2002 was the year I first got to know Mark and Lisa Flora. Never have a I met someone with such a love for music, reformed theology and quality beer! The last concert I went to before leaving the Twin Cities for Virginia was Stiff Little Fingers, Belfast's top punk, at the Fine Line Cafe. Mark and I had a blast, albeit we had reserved seats off the main floor (a sign of age).

Have I mentioned Buck Day yet? Probably not! Buck is not someone I would ever take for granted, from somewhere around 1998 or 1999 Buck and I had breakfast on an almost weekly breakfast to encourage and support one another in our pastoral positions. We have shared each others burdens on many occasions and a trip back to Minnesota is never complete without breakfast with Buck.

Countdown to 40 - 2001

This year we made two trips to Ireland... the first one, in March, was for my brother's wedding. Jenny and I ran about 7 miles on the morning of the wedding, it was comic relief day in the UK so I gave David a red nose during the wedding service.

The summer saw the whole family go over again for my sisters wedding. All my English cousins and their families were able to attend, including Pete and Anne from Australia! It was great to see them all again. Some day we'll make the trip to Oz to visit the Craigans there.

Countdown to 40 - 2000

April I started serving as pastor of Randolph Heights Church in St Paul. It was a wonderful congregation and I had a tremendous time there. I can't begin to mention all the people there who touched and shaped my life but they did and they know who they are.

Craig Wahlund preached at my ordination and three weeks later, on Maundy Thursday, he would be dead. Craig had walked with me through many CPM meetings and had become a mentor and a confidant in my life. When I shared the news with the folks at Randolph Heights I wept openly and it took several minutes for me to regain my composure. Yeah, I can be very emotional at times.

Countdown to 40 - 1999

The final year of the twentieth century, Y2K and all that fun stuff. The world didn't end and I'll soon be 40! 1999 was the year I realized that I really did need to move into ordained ministry and serve God in that capacity.

I spent the fall of the year interviewing with various churches and sending letters of interest to others. It was still a time before everything could be done by email.

By the end of the year I had an interview with Randolph Heights Church in St. Paul and I was very excited about the possibility of becoming their pastor. I still had several steps to take before that could become a reality.

Countdown to 40 - 1998

February of this year we made a trip to Ireland and enjoyed a couple of weeks visiting with my family. It would be the last time I would see my granny alive and as I said goodbye to her we both knew it and wept.

By the time the summer came we knew we were going to have another baby, due towards the end of the year. Christmas morning started off with breakfast and opening gifts and then by the time lunch was over Jenny felt the baby moving. As we left her parents house we told them that we would be calling some time in the next 24 hours to come over as she was sure the baby was coming.

We arrived home and I called my parents and Jenny yelled at me to get off the phone because she was having a baby! We called her parents, they came over and got our first born and we headed for the hospital... three hours later another bouncing baby girl came into the world! At first we didn't know what was happening as she had the chord around her neck when she came out so they whisked her across the room to check her out, I had to ask if it was a girl or a boy, they held her up for me to see, it was all slimy and swollen! I had to ask again.

We had a Christmas baby. When my sister married a few years later her husband, Neil, was also a Christmas baby so uncle and niece get to celebrate together.

Countdown to 40 - 1997

This was the year our first child was born. It was a magical moment. We had decided to use to the midwife service at Methodist hospital and for the first part of labor Amy was with us and did a fantastic job coaching us. Mid-afternoon Amy had to leave for a conference and was replaced by Margaret. Now Margaret just happened to be Clerk of Session at Stadium Village Church where I had been working!

When our daughter was born I looked at Jenny as she held the little one on her chest and I said we should pray. No words came from my mouth, only sobs and tears of joy! Standing at the foot of the bed Margaret prayed for us while we wept, it was an unbelievably perfect moment and one I will cherish forever.

Other "minor" events this year included graduating from seminary. While I was delighted to graduate it felt very minor compared to having a child.

I also put my "pastoral career" on hold at this time and started working for US West, where I worked in both residential and business sales for three years.

This was the year I got to know Phil Styrlund, one of the worlds truly great guys and a business leader of the utmost integrity. Over the coming years we would enjoy many Bob Dylan concerts together.

Countdown to 40 - 1996

We bought our first home this year and the day before we closed on it learned that we were pregnant with our first child! We loved our first home on Nord Avenue. It was the site of many parties, and we have many memories of our good times there.

I did a lot of work on this home including building an entry and adding a closet. After a major storm damaged our siding I tore it all off and replaced it with vinyl siding. The aftermath of the storm was a great time to get to know our neighbors as people rallied around helping one another with all sorts of outdoor projects.

While I was finishing up seminary I began working at Stadium Village Church in Minneapolis. I thoroughly enjoyed my time there learning something about what it meant to be a pastor.

Countdown to 40 - 1995

I had lunch with my friend and mentor Richard Davis, told him about Jenny and he said he'd kick me in the ass if I let her get away. He spoke so highly of her family and particularly her dad, Milt Sunde, who he said was a great man, I agree.

March 17 - Asked Jenny to marry me, she said yes!

There are no words to describe the summer of 1995 when we spent a couple of weeks in Kenya. I've written about this experience in other places but this was the time I really got to know and love John and Janet, and Dave and Rachel. These are some deep and meaningful friendships that continue through today. John calls me weekly and has the greatest gift of encouragement of anyone I've ever met.

After our return from Africa John, Dave and myself started playing golf together weekly at 6:00 am followed that with breakfast. This would go on for a couple of years, it was a blast! The golf was rarely good but always fun!

The fall was filled with wedding plans and on December 29 we would be married! While there were many highlights to our wedding, people are still reminding us of my brothers speech and my cousins singing. While my immediate family all made the trip from Ireland I was honored to have Jay and Rosie Dowling, Steve and Thelma Irwin and my cousin Ian make the trip as well. Jay and Rosie have both since died.

This was a great year!

Countdown to 40 - 1994

The importance of this year cannot be overemphasized. In May of this year my parents made a trip to Minnesota to see how their son was getting on. After a week visiting they headed back to Belfast and expected me to follow at the end of July when my visa expired.

May became June which in turn became July... The weekend of July 4th I felt a very strong pull, that I attribute to God, to stay in the United States and not return to Ireland. So I immediately decided to pursue admittance to seminary at Luther Seminary in St. Paul. After being accepted to seminary I needed to get a student visa and even though I was told it would take 90-180 days I had it in 14! So I was now committed to staying in MN for the next few years.

August came and Tobin Wilson called me to try and set me up on a date. I said no, he called again, and again and again. His persistence paid off in October when I went on a double date with Tobin, Dawn and Jennifer Sunde. We ate at Planet Hollywood and then went back to the Wilson's home where Tobin and I played pool while Dawn and Jenny went to rent a movie. They brought back "Above The Rim," we hated the movie. After leaving Jenny and I talked in the street for some time.

October 29, Jenny and I went out on our first "official" date. We ate at Rainforest Cafe. A couple of weeks later we went to a YFC banquet and I met her family for the first time the weekend before thanksgiving. It was sad Thanksgiving as one of the members of Tobin's youth group, Wendy Walstrom lost her life in a car accident.

I went home to Belfast for Christmas. I told my mother I had met this wonderful girl, she knew it was something special!

Countdown to 40 - 1993

I survived my first six months in Minnesota and in the spring of 1993 I decided to lace up the rugby boots and go play rugby with the local club, Metropolis. I'd never played rugby in the snow before but, this was Minnesota and we couldn't wait for the snow to melt before we began training! Rugby proved a great outlet for and Irishman in America. Outside of work, rugby became my greatest outlet and the center of my social life at this time.

This was the year that I started getting to know the group of guys that we would call "The Funny Talkers." Richard, Mike and Steve were from England, Franck was French. Later Lyle would join us and he was from New Zealand. We all played rugby together and shared a common bond. I lost touch with Richard and then Lyle, Mike and Steve went through divorces and disappeared from my life. Mike would stand up for me as a groomsman at my wedding before we lost touch with one another. Sometimes friends come and then go, they are there for a season, but then there are those that last a lifetime and for those few people I will be forever grateful.

My highlight of the summer was seeing Bob Dylan play at the Minnesota State Fair!

I wasn't about to repeat the emotional Christmas of the previous year so I headed back to Belfast for Christmas. I really enjoyed catching up with old friends and family.

Countdown to 40 - 1992

This was one of the truly significant years in my life. As I finished my first year of seminary I was trying to line up an opportunity to spend the summer in Minnesota. Nothing was available for the just the summer but I was presented with the possibility of a two year commitment to do youth ministry.

It didn't take me long to decide that I would take this opportunity and in June I said goodbye to my parents at the airport and with tears in my eyes and mixed emotions in my heart I boarded the plane. I would be the Director of Youth Ministry at Anoka United Methodist Church for the next couple of years. It was a part time position and because of immigration issues I committed to work full-time and a family from the church, Bob and Sue Wieland, gave me room and board. Unfortunately today Bob is battling brain cancer, God willing he will beat it.

This would be my first Christmas away from home and I traveled to Boston to spend the holiday with Anne-Marie and her family. Her mum was from Ireland so it was great to hear a familiar accent. I have never been so homesick as I was that first Christmas away from home. Although for years to come I would cry almost uncontrollably on the major holidays as I longed to be with my family. Now that I have kids of my own I don't miss my parents in the same way, but I still miss our family "parties" that the holidays always were (and are for those who are there). Family matters.

This was the beginning of a journey that see me never live in Ireland again (at least up to this point).

Countdown to 40 - 1991

I graduated from the University of Ulster with a degree in Sociology! It was time to celebrate so I boarded a plane for Minnesota where I would spend the summer as an intern at Hope Church. It was during this time that I developed a friendship with Tobin Wilson, it was and is a friendship that I value greatly to this day.

The summer was a blast, lots of good times working with the youth ministry and hanging out with new friends. It was the first time I saw Billy Mclaughlin in concert and I've been a fan and acquaintance of Billy's ever since.

After leaving Minnesota I went and spent a week with Bryan Burton in New Jersey. Took the train to New York for a day to visit a friend from college. It was a whirlwind tour of the city, but we really took in all the major sights. The cold beer at Hard Rock Cafe before boarding the train at the end of the day was one of the most refreshing beers I've ever had!

When I returned to Belfast to start seminary that fall I knew in my heart that I'd be returning some day to the United States.

Fall of 1991 I sat up for seven really late nights as I watched the Twins beat the Braves in the World Series. I called the series that summer as the last time the Twins won was in 1987, the year of my first visit to Minnesota. So of course they would win!

Started seminary in Belfast... very interesting... never have I spent so much time with people so bigoted in their opinions of others.

One highlight of the year was seeing Bob Dylan plan in Belfast. It was his first Belfast show since 1966 and at the end of the show he was joined on stage by Belfast's own Van Morrison! Fabulous evening, since then I believe I've seen Dylan live about a dozen times.

Countdown to 40 - 1990

It's the start of a new decade, the '80's are over, we kicked off the new year with a party at my house. None of us were able to secure tickets for U2's New Years concert in Dublin so we listened to it live on the radio, we danced, we sung and we woke up the neighbors!

In the spring of the year I spent a week in County Mayo, as part of my degree program. We stayed in thatched cottages and enjoyed the rural life for a week, taking in ancient burial sites and trying to develop an understanding of the culture that once lived there. In the evenings we would sit in the pub that was at the back of the grocery store and drink the night away. On one evening the local police officer came round at about 2:30 am and told us we needed to be out of there soon as he would be back in a couple of hours! Yes, this is rural Ireland, lots of drinking and storytelling, a fine place to be.

February 11 of this year I was sitting in a nurses dorm room in Inverness, Scotland glued to the TV as I watched Nelson Mandela being released from prison. It brought tears to my eyes.

The summer of 1990 I was once again back in Naas working with the PCI team. After this mission was over I joined another PCI team to go to Jamaica for three weeks. It was here that I had my first real experience of feeling like a minority. I was boarding a bus when the bus driver yelled at me, "White man, move up de bus!" I was very self conscious of being different. There was nothing racial intended in his words as his next statement was, "Hey, fat lady, push up de bus!"

Jamaica openned my eyes to poverty in a way that I'd never seen it before and it became a transformational moment in my life and life's priorities.

In the fall of 1990 I was excepted as a student for ministry in PCI and would begin my studies in the fall of 1991. I'll never forget the look of pride on my dad's face when I opened the letter and told him I'd been accepted as a student for the ministry. We were standing in the kitchen at 11 Greenview Park, he was standing in the doorway to the hall and I was by the table, he smiled, his eyes filled with tears and he said, "I'm proud of you." It meant the world to me!